Every day I grow to feel
That I am less intelligent, less significant
Or at least that it is less important
To be intelligent or significant
Or that to be those things
Is not what we think it is

And when I look up
Out of my enclosed world
And see the blue of the sky bend at the edges
Wrapping itself around so many pieces of earth
I know the secret to my life-claustrophobia
Is hidden in the stretchy web of freedom
Beyond my jammed up consciousness
And I know I am missing something
Crucial
About the way things work
About God

As I stand at the sea shore
Black depths curving beyond sight
Smoky cotton ball clouds lining up
Along some undefined margin of heat
Mountains of water holding an inverse earth
Where I do not belong
But a rather strange population resides
My sentience is a tiny thimble blip
Overloading, slowing at my clear attempt
To break the rules
To see what I am looking at
To download and process beyond capacity

Mind hitting the proverbial wall
While body stands toe deep in chilly vanishing sand
Facing the vermilion sunset
Half turned away from white noise breakers
Silky wind running over my arms
And through the sails of shrimp boats
Full of men and their carry-on worlds
Emotions blank out in favor of the senses
Except for a vague giddiness
Probably the not knowing

I have no problem with the concept
Of God remembering where and who and why I am
But I'm hoping
That I can
Because I'm thinking
He's the only one

I envy the angels
Who stand beside me
Who can't feel or conceive
But know the point
And so it seems as we stand in the fading light
That I am their shadow
And I have to wonder
If it was worth it to Eve
To know
Because I am her daughter
And I certainly don't know
Anything
And I'll bet you
Anything
She knew more
Before

What I'm worried about
Is that I'll probably never figure out
The source
Of the tickle
That draws my attention
In these moments
And that I'll just be standing here
Vacuously
With my time almost up.