Monday, September 17, 2007
Monologuers of Dune
A Woman, Her Cat, and SciFi
Originally uploaded by sdpalladio.
So, I'm torn about "Hunters of Dune." Granted, it's been 15 years since I read the Dune saga in the Driver's Ed trailer during a scorching July, so my memories are a little foggy. Something about Bene Gesserits, Paul Atreides, Alia, and The Spice Must Flow. And also the sandworms, my favorite characters. I was pretty excited to see that there were two new books out to wrap up the series, and, though I only intended to read "Sandworms" I figured I'd better read both.
Some people have complained that Brian Herbert doesn't really have the same touch as his father, Frank, though "Hunters" has much the same feel as the originals. Atmospherically, it's similar; the descriptions of the planets and the characters are consistent, familiar, and compelling. It's the more revelatory moments that are somewhat infected by DaVinci Code-itis, i.e. "monologuing."
Public Service Announcement Authors of the world: Just because Dan Brown made a bajillion dollars on a book that, minus its speaking parts, is about 3 pages long, doesn't mean you should follow suit. It was the message of DVC that everyone liked, not the elementary style. The most powerful revelations in DVC were ones not spoken. Keep that in mind.
It seems like kind of a cheat to wind up to a climactic moment, have someone pop a melange wafer and, BAM, there's the answer. If it was that easy, why didn't someone think of that before? And, in case you were a little dense and missed the fairly obvious point, there's someone to spell it out in thought, and then in voice.
It really felt like the authors were treating the readers like they were a bit slow. Not only did they include the primary explanation of who each character was as they appeared, but reminded us in case we'd forgotten from chapter to chapter. Hey! Guess what? Alia was the Abomination! And you know what else? Alia was the Abomination!
I get it already.
You know what else I got? Tleilaxu males hate women. Bene Gesserits are scared of the Kwisatz Haderach. Honored Matres are wh*res and hate men. And they like fighting. Face Dancers are sneaky. Sheanna controls worms. Gholas are clones. Duncan Idaho is obsessed with Murbella. Axlotl tanks are lobotomized women. Navigators swim in tanks of spice. Ghola children don't remember their past lives. Leto II was the God Emperor. Paul and Chani 4 Ever.
It was nice to be back in Dune, so to speak, and I look forward to reading the final book. What I missed, though, was the visions and mysticism, love, conniving, families against families, truly terrifying genetics, and the thought that Dune's readers are intelligent.
Labels: Lex the Cat
Thursday, July 26, 2007
It's a Grrrl
Lex meets Lolly
So I go to PetSmart to get Livingston, my male betta, some more water conditioner, and oops! Look what happened...
Yes, I've adopted a female crowntail betta, Lolly. Is it my fault that they put the new bettas right under the betta supplies? Can I help it that she wiggled and danced and insisted she come home with me right away?
Clearly not.
Of course I can't have the two of them together (there's a reason they're called Siamese fighting fish) so $2.50 turned into $25 and...you know how it goes.
The boys like her. Well, to be exact, Livingston was outraged that there was this thing! this OTHER FISH! on his counter for the love of cod! "Mummah, did you see that!?! I will save you!!! ROAR!" *fluffs self up*
But, that was to be expected from a species that kills its own kind and eats its young, and, hey, why else would I put a fish by the front door if not to guard from tiny iridescent intruders. At least it gave him a break from his boredom for a few minutes before I placed them in opposite corners. And I got the added benefit of watching him prance around the rest of the night after "scaring her away", The Winnah, his flowing blue locks floofed in a particularly Bob-Marleyesque arrangement.
Then I put Lolly down on the bench to introduce her to Lex. Lex is mostly the sit-and-observe type, but after she rushed the wall, he had to get a closer look. He leaned over the top (it's screened) to check her out... and she splashed him. Then she was like, "Oh yeah?! OH YEAH?!?!?!?!" and kept threatening him every time he moved. Hilarious!
She is a feisty one.
Eventually she'll have to learn to stay still for the camera...
Labels: Lex the Cat, Livingston the Fish, photos
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Couch Potatoes
Couch Potatoes
Who knew cats liked the History Channel? Since I wouldn't let Lex perch on my stomach while I recovered from a headache, he struck my pose next to me instead.
Also, I started a Flickr account this morning so I can keep all my online photos in one place without chewing up space here. There are some other nice ones of my flowers, etc. on there as well, and you can subscribe to the feed to keep up with the latest ones. Comment if you like them, and enjoy!
Labels: Lex the Cat, photos
Monday, February 12, 2007
The Tao of Lex
You might think that cats don't know much, but I assure you this is not true. Nay, they are students of the universe, and here is the proof--my cat, Lex. Lex has recently taken up listening to just about anything. The lesson we can learn from this, is that there is wisdom all around us. For example...
In a glass of Perrier. Note his contemplative Monkey Tail pose. What wisdom can be gained from Perrier, you might ask? It takes patience and a lot of time to figure this out. Apparently. And each glass is different.
In the tub. This is his favorite thing lately. I can barely get out of the tub before he insists on getting in for his nightly lesson of aquatic knowledge. Note the cocked ear, listening intently to the wisdom of a dripping faucet. Here is a haiku about it:
Little urban cat
Darkened shower, claws unsheathed
Drowsy woman screams
In origami. Origami is a form of meditation; but as in yoga (and physics) there must be an opposite action for everything. Here, Lex demonstrates the balancing of the force by the destructive action of ripping my "kitten" origami figure to bits. You can see what a proud little Darth he is.
In my grey sweater. This is his Yoda. I don't know what they talk about, but every night I put this sweater on the bed near his towel and each time he gets up on the bed, the first thing he does is go over and purr at the sweater. This is good in two ways. First, the sweater gets to tell Lex all the secrets of the universe. Second, Lex kneads the stew out of the sweater and not my arm, which he goes after if I forget to lay the sweater out a strategic distance from my body parts; it's a sort of cat flypaper, if you will. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but question Yoda, you must not. Even if he is in the form of a sweater.
In a side note, this and the related blue sweater I bought from Express 10 years ago are the best purchases I've ever made. Not only do they not ever fade or age, no matter how many trips through the wash, but the are claw resistant and an attack preventative. If I'd known how important they'd be, I would have bought many, many more.
In the Puppy bowl. You might not be able to tell, but that is in fact the Puppy Bowl. There was so much wisdom being bandied about by the hyperactive pups that the Close Captioners were clearly having trouble keeping up. But Lex was not deterred. After 40 minutes straight of listening to their existential crises, he fell asleep on my stomach. To ponder.
(Pondering)
Namaste.
Labels: Lex the Cat
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
A Day in the Life Of...
This is Lex, an American Standard. He adopted me a year ago and is almost a year and a half old. His main trick which he used to lure me into his furry clutches is called Monkey Tail--he'd curl up his long tail and hook it around my arm and purr like a motorcycle. Now he only does it when he's sleepy or scared from the yard crew outside. Typical.
Lex starts his weekend days by watching educational TV like, "K-9 To Five," "Top Breeds," and "Backyard Habitat." His favorite show, however, is "Planet's Funniest Animals." All in all, this is about 3 hours of programming, during which he sleeps, watches, pats the TV, and looks for the various animals behind the TV. He also enjoys the commercials, especially when they involve waterfowl or helpless woodland creatures.
Here is Lex guarding my to do list for the day, saying, "Achtung, baby!" I said, 1. you're not German, and 2. we're not listening to that album again. And he was like, "Yeah, Mysterious Ways is good but they mostly phoned it in after Track 6." And I said, "Good point."
Here he is being of tremendous assistance in organizing the first aid cabinet under my sink. This involves hooking his paws under the sill, stretching out on his back to full length, and twisting around at high speeds. Also, I am not actually allowed to touch the first aid items.
Here he is helping me with situps. Obviously I am not allowed to do the actual situps, but he says the purring will just melt the calories right off. I think he means of his own waistline, but he refuses to discuss it further, saying that it works, so why break it.
This is our nightly routine: I eat my dinner, Lex reads my paper by osmosis. It can take some time, given that he is furry and illiterate. For example, these are pages 2 and 3, containing celebrity gossip, weather, tide tables, and a Rooms To Go ad. It took him an hour, and after that he had to ...
threaten the marauding neighborhood cats. This picture is not from my camera phone, but because it is an integral part of any evening, it must be included. Generally this involves screaming through the screen like a banshee while the other cat looks in quietly confused. Occasionally the cat swats the screen, telling him to please shut up. At this point I go outside to shoo the cat away, for which Lex promptly takes credit.
After that stressful task, Lex likes to be combed and unruffle all that fur. Here he is combing his own teeth.
You can see how lovely they are, thanks to the combing.
Finally, Lex kicks the living daylights out of Mr Bun, whom he swears he did not then give a very nice bath and fall asleep on him. He is guarding him from getting up and menacing the place. And you know how stuffed bunnies are, so it might take all night. But he is NOT hugging him, so let's just get that straight. If Mr Bun is taking the night off, he also would NOT hug Lamby instead.
There are countless other tasks not pictured here, such as standing up for the oppression of cat litter by freeing it from his litterbox, securing the foyer by staring threateningly at nonexistent bugs, webconferencing by sitting directly in front of the webcam, and phoning my mother to complain about my parenting skills. As you can see, it is not easy being my cat.
Labels: Lex the Cat
