Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Wasting Time in Lieu of Christmas Cards 

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

CSI: Christmas Morning 

I am just now emerging from a week-long haze of Christmas ideas/creation/purchasing/bills, etc., including a long weekend in Orlando with my brother where we hit the Millennia Mall 3 times, Waterford Lakes 2 times, and the new IKEA, which, because it only opened a couple of weeks ago, involves shopping with approximately the entire population of Europe. There should totally be an oasis in every corner, because between the 3 million square feet, cloth fibers, and dry warehouse air, I was in a state of near delerium by the time I hit the bottom floor where you buy everything. Which may be by design, I'm not sure.

As I wandered through the Nouveau Scary Large Candy World of Lights Scents Music Christmasland, two memories from holidays past occurred to me:

1. "That's not from Santa!" - My parents were very religious when I was little, so we did not believe in Santa. Sure, they told me about Santa, and I knew all the stories and carols and whatnot, but I knew who my presents came from. My grandparents compromised by making some tags from "Grandma and Grandpa," some from "Baby Jesus," and some from "Santa and Rudolph."

I remember one Christmas very clearly where all the grandchildren sat near the tree, tearing through the gifts, where my older cousin said to me, "Look what Santa gave me!" I, being all of probably 5 or 6, pulled the name tag off her gift, held it next to mine, and busted out with the handwriting comparison. "Aimee, THAT's not from Santa. It's Grandma. Her handwriting is exactly the same! Look at the t's! Look at the a's! It's the same pen!!!" If I'd had a chemistry set, God only knows what I would have done to prove it.

I finally realized this weekend, regardless of what I'd been told, I was clearly too much of a nerd to believe there was a Santa, even then. Honestly, I thought Grandma was just being ironic, and cleverly so. It never occurred to me they were trying to fool anyone. Because, by George, the handwriting was the SAME. *puts on black shades*

2. Child of the 80s Flashback - Who else played with Strawberry Shortcake dolls? They all had cute little girl outfits and pets and were scented. My favorite one was Lime Chiffon because she smelled the best, like vanilla and citrus. I'm not really sure how we all looked, snorting our dolls and whatnot, but I loved that smell. (I'm sure they'll eventually reveal they are lead-based.)

While shopping for stocking stuffers this weekend, I went into Yankee Candle and was smelling down the wall of votives when my eyes went wide and I grabbed my brother's arm. "OHMYGOD!!! Smell this! This is so familiar!! WHAT. IS. IT?!....... IT'S LIME CHIFFON DOLL!"

He, of course, backed away from the lunacy and took my word for it (they didn't sell scented Legos, I guess), while I purchased a Vanilla Lime votive immediately so that I can continue my doll-sniffing in an adult fashion--by making my whole apartment smell like one.


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