Friday, March 18, 2005

Let's face it 

Just for fun, some humorous pictures.

Separated at birth?

Dr Baltar from the new Battlestar Galactica and Dr Bashir on DS9. Both doctors, both in space.... I think the important question we should ask ourselves is, has anyone seen these two men in the same room? Hmm? I think not!

Vonzell from American Idol and Jennifer Garner from Alias. I'm just saying, when Vonzell gets voted off the show and ends up on Alias as Sydney's other long-lost sister, making all the older men (Jack, Sloane, and Dixon) on the show fathers of Derevko daughters (Sydney, Nadia,...Vonzell?), don't tell me I didn't warn you that storyline was coming!

In honor of the last few episodes of 24:

You know you want that t-shirt! No? Well at least visit the Kiefer Soundboard for such necessary quotes as...
"You betrayed me too, I'm just better at it than you."
"Your constitutional rights no longer apply."
and the ever popular
"Shut up!"

Monday, March 14, 2005

Encore, encore, encore, encore, encore.... 

No, this is not about something that is so unbelievably fabulous, I want to hear it again and again and again. This is in regards to a disturbing trend, both improperly using the encore, in two different areas of entertainment--the concert and the commercial--and the patronizing of the audience.... Shall we?

If I'm not mistaken, "ENCORE" was largely reserved for the best song, probably of an opera, that had already been sung, and was so incredible, the audience wanted to hear it again at the end, yes? Then will someone please tell me why artists in concert insist on saving their best songs for the so-called encore, when they haven't been played yet?

Here is what is not an encore: You go to see your favorite band, let's say... Def Leppard, hoping to hear their best hit "Animal", because, of course, that is what everyone knows and loves. Song after song, no "Animal." For that matter, no "Love Bites" and no "Rocket." An hour goes by, the concert reaches a crescendo, everyone is into it, the band members say, "Thank you (insert city here)!" and run off the stage, lights off.

At this point, only a few are foolish to believe the concert is truly over. Those people get their bags, while the rest stand and clap and scream for the band to come back out on stage for the "encore" that everyone knows is coming, because after all the back-up musicians are still onstage, as are the guitars and whatever. Sure enough, in 3 minutes, the band runs right back out and plays "Animal." Then they run back off stage. Repeat. "Love Bites." Repeat. "Rocket." Finally the lights come up, and it's done.

Here's what I wonder... What if we didn't clap? Would they stay off stage? Would it encourage them to, perhaps, play the song we all want to hear during the concert?! Would they then only come out to do encores of songs they'd actually played already because we *gasp* like those songs enough to hear them twice? Is forcing the audience into a standing ovation, when they're really just angry their favorite song wasn't played and they know you're just taking a water break, fair play?

I think not. Believe it or not, this latest case of concert-rage was inspired by Yanni. I kid you not. You'd think at least Yanni could get it right, but no. And, as we all suspect, the "encore" was the best part of the concert. If they'd played like that earlier, I might've been awake by then.

We all know of which I speak: commercial abuse. It's the direct opposite situation of concert encores in that, you probably didn't want to see the commercial in the first place, but, even if you did, you certainly didn't want to see it every single commercial break of the same show. This is true especially if it's embarrassing, dumb, or hilarious for non-funny reasons.

Recent Example: The Sci-Fi Channel, probably the most egregious offender of commercial abuse. Friday night, I was watching Stargate: SG1, which started on regular tv 10 years ago before it was canceled and picked up by SciFi and continued. It was a special hour-and-a-half long episode, followed by the new series, Stargate: Atlantis, and Battlestar Galactica. Now, SciFi is pretty darned proud of these series, so they want to make sure you watch, along with any original movie they've come up with.

Here was a typical 10-minute-mark break: product ads, Stargate: Atlantis, Battlestar Galactica, and upcoming movie MANSQUITO. Already, you can see the problem.

First of all, if I'm watching SG:1, odds are good I'm already planning on Atlantis next. If it not, 2 reminders was enough. 20 reminders actually encourages me not to watch, because, by that point, I'm wondering if I've already seen the best parts, which I can now recite from memory.

Secondly, if I'm watching 2.5 hours of Stargate, I'm probably not going to watch Battlestar. From what I've seen in my peer group, if you're a fan of one, you're probably not a fan of the other, much like Star Trek vs. Star Wars. I could be wrong here.

Thirdly... Mansquito?!?! How can you not laugh at that? Seriously, people. It's just hard to keep a straight face. Then to see that multiple times, well, it just encourages criticism. Such as this gem of a quote from a TVGuide article on it:

"The script actually has a wonderful humanistic quality to it," the star says. "It goes back to the classical plays of the Greeks."


In closing, a masterpiece creation blending my two inspirations for this article:

And remember, kids, friends don't let friends abuse encores.



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