Wednesday, March 24, 2004
It's been a long time since my last post, trading ISPs and all, but I'm finally back, and ready to take on the next topic: The Lack of Republican Coolness. And keep in mind, I get to comment, because I am a Republican.
All you need to do is look at this article to understand what I mean: Republican Voter Drive Heads to MTV. Now the title in itself sounds great. After all, the Dems have been fleecing MTV for years, spawning Rock the Vote, so that it doesn't even appear that the Dems are registering young people at all, just all these hipsters and comedians. But no, it definitely originated with them, and I can only imagine the scene they'd create if you checked off "Republican" on your registration card. Perhaps Janeane Garofalo would promise them she'd kneel on broken bottles in front of the White House if you'd change it, and then take it back. I digress.
The article. So we've established that the Democrats have had years of coolness up on the Republicans with appearances on MTV and Rock the Vote. Even the inherent message of liberalism is cooler: save the planet, give peace a chance, let's all just talk about it, etc. It's hard to get young people fired up about Republican issues, like military presence, fiscal responsibility, reasonable taxation, and current program reevaluation. So what's the solution for impressing youthful minds with the long-term importance of Republican goals?
Why, we have Chairman Ed Gillespie driving Reggie the Registration Rig, that's what! First of all, is that the best we could find in a spokesperson? I don't see DNC Chairman Terry McAuliff on MTV. Why? Because Chairmen aren't cool. It seems as though plenty of celebrities came out as conservatives after 9-11, and I think we're making a huge mistake not enlisting their services. Charles Barkley? Yes, please. But no, RNC spokeswoman Heather Layman insists that Gillespie is "hip enough to know how important it is, so [she thinks] he'll have fun." Because he has teenagers. Oh, yes, I'm riveted already.
Secondly, what's up with that name? Reggie the Registration Rig?! Is that like Bob the Builder? Are we registering kindergartners or college students?
Thirdly, its first set of appearances already speaks badly for newer, hipper appeal: West Virginia and NASCAR. I don't think that's going to win any points in California or the Northeast. I also don't think that's where you need to ask for votes. Most of them are already registered, and Republicans at that.
Finally, check out the official website: Reggie the Registration Rig.
1. Typos. Lots.
2. Geared towards elementary school kids. They can't vote.
3. Schedule is all in the South except for the MTV date.
4. A Tour of Reggie: Shows "hipster" Chairman Gillespie and "visitors" on the bus (obviously Young Republican club members), all wearing black suit jackets with slicked back hair. Nerds. That is the sole reason I didn't join the YRC in my city, and no one is going to want to follow suit. No pun intended.
Note to the Republican Party: People, please get with it! This is embarassing. Hire celebrities. Clean up the site. Get someone young and fun to redesign and rename the Rig. And no suits.
All you need to do is look at this article to understand what I mean: Republican Voter Drive Heads to MTV. Now the title in itself sounds great. After all, the Dems have been fleecing MTV for years, spawning Rock the Vote, so that it doesn't even appear that the Dems are registering young people at all, just all these hipsters and comedians. But no, it definitely originated with them, and I can only imagine the scene they'd create if you checked off "Republican" on your registration card. Perhaps Janeane Garofalo would promise them she'd kneel on broken bottles in front of the White House if you'd change it, and then take it back. I digress.
The article. So we've established that the Democrats have had years of coolness up on the Republicans with appearances on MTV and Rock the Vote. Even the inherent message of liberalism is cooler: save the planet, give peace a chance, let's all just talk about it, etc. It's hard to get young people fired up about Republican issues, like military presence, fiscal responsibility, reasonable taxation, and current program reevaluation. So what's the solution for impressing youthful minds with the long-term importance of Republican goals?
Why, we have Chairman Ed Gillespie driving Reggie the Registration Rig, that's what! First of all, is that the best we could find in a spokesperson? I don't see DNC Chairman Terry McAuliff on MTV. Why? Because Chairmen aren't cool. It seems as though plenty of celebrities came out as conservatives after 9-11, and I think we're making a huge mistake not enlisting their services. Charles Barkley? Yes, please. But no, RNC spokeswoman Heather Layman insists that Gillespie is "hip enough to know how important it is, so [she thinks] he'll have fun." Because he has teenagers. Oh, yes, I'm riveted already.
Secondly, what's up with that name? Reggie the Registration Rig?! Is that like Bob the Builder? Are we registering kindergartners or college students?
Thirdly, its first set of appearances already speaks badly for newer, hipper appeal: West Virginia and NASCAR. I don't think that's going to win any points in California or the Northeast. I also don't think that's where you need to ask for votes. Most of them are already registered, and Republicans at that.
Finally, check out the official website: Reggie the Registration Rig.
1. Typos. Lots.
2. Geared towards elementary school kids. They can't vote.
3. Schedule is all in the South except for the MTV date.
4. A Tour of Reggie: Shows "hipster" Chairman Gillespie and "visitors" on the bus (obviously Young Republican club members), all wearing black suit jackets with slicked back hair. Nerds. That is the sole reason I didn't join the YRC in my city, and no one is going to want to follow suit. No pun intended.
Note to the Republican Party: People, please get with it! This is embarassing. Hire celebrities. Clean up the site. Get someone young and fun to redesign and rename the Rig. And no suits.
